Rescue Me
At thirteen he was miraculously saved from drowning. In his late twenties he was miraculously healed. For decades Van tried his best to be a good follower of God and instead became a great follower of man. Stopping at nothing, Van wanted most to be recognized by his spiritual leaders and feel wanted. Nevertheless, his evangelical leaders mostly ignored him, often used him for their own gain, sometimes verbally and spiritually abused him, rarely rewarded or praised him, and always stood between him and the God he was fervently trying to encounter. Finally Van Roberts crashed. With his heart shattered on the floor of the megachurch's Starbucks, he cried out for God ... and God answered. Over the years ahead, Van realized in his darkest moment, if God was what he had been told by the church of today, they could keep him. Coming to a crossroad, Van decided to throw out everything he had been taught about God, Jesus and religion. If there were nothing left, including God, he would have to be OK with it. Van had to become an atheist in order to find God. And boy was God there, and had a wicked sense of humor. Van learned when he could not see God, God was lovingly watching him, moving in to lead him out of a deadly river, delicately healing his damaged body, and clinging to him when he thought he would slide away into an abyss of pain and doubt and loneliness. In Rescue Me: Confessions of an Ex-Evangelical, Van Roberts takes us on a harrowing journey through the back rooms, no-holds-barred meetings, bottomless pits, and dumpsters of modern evangelicalism. He does not hide his mistakes, but confesses his guilt of “playing the game” of religion. Pain, tears, despair, loneliness, frustration, fear, and feelings of rejection, he has now realized is just a part of raw humanity and religion cannot help. You will find Van's writing to be as horrifying as Stephen King, as humorous as Seinfeld, as salty as Eddie Murphy, as quotable as Shakespeare, as Romantic as Barbara Cartland, and more warm, wise, insightful, and intimate than anyone's.