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A COMIC NOVEL by bestselling author and playwrite Chris Lane. A Cotswold village is eagerly waiting for the arrival of a new family. They will be sorry! A celebration of bizarre English characters and comic action in a traditional British comedy novel, with a modern twist.Though not really very rude or violent an alternative version for younger adults is also available called 'The Swipers' (Junior Version).

A JUNIOR VERSION OF A COMEDY NOVEL by best-selling author and playwrite Chris Lane.A terrible, terrible family move into a quiet little village and AWFUL things start to happen, getting worse and worse until... well, you will have to find out!This book has no very rude words and no horrid violence but does have 'cheeky' humour so is not suitable for very young or very sensitive children.Another version of this story 'SWIPERS' is available from Amazon, for older children and adults who like a laugh.REVIEWS OF OTHER BOOKS BY CHRIS LANE: "Actually had me crying with laughter at certain points, well written and the plot just keeps unravelling. A fantastic read all round, Highly recommend!!!! ""This is truly the best book I have read in ages..... The homour had me rolling with laughter in places. Read the book in a day; it was that compelling." :

UK NUMBER ONE BESTSELLING COMEDY NOVEL "Actually had me crying with laughter at certain points, well written and the plot just keeps unravelling. A fantastic read all round, Highly recommend!!!!" "This is truly the best book I have read in ages. It is not for children but has a great ( and sinister) story line. The black homour had me rolling with laughter in places. Read the book in a day; it was that compelling." 'Bloodwrath' is a very black, modern-day comedy thriller in which the principal character finds that 'slaying' is much harder and far messier than expected when he uses a decorative sword to kill a burglar. Then another burglar. Then a drug-dealer... Blackmailed into further gruesome slayings, things get more complicated - and funnier. 'Bloodwrath' is not a 'who-done-it' (Roger did it); it is NOT set in Scandinavia (so all the names can be read ) and has no moral message at all. It is just for fun. It is the first in the bestselling 'Chard' series, though they can be read in any oorder. Set in modern-day Chard, England, this story contains some rather gruesome scenes and 54 instances of the 'f' word but nothing worse and definitely no 'rude stuff' to slow the plot. Not for small children. Chris Lane's style has been compared to Terry Pratchett (without the wizards) or Tom Sharpe (with more blood). He is best known as the writer of award-winning comedy drama, in constant production on stages all over the world. ALSO AVAILABLE FROM AMAZON: bestselling Fairy series set in the Dark Ages.

This account will undoubtedly be an inspiration to many gardeners as, although witch hazels have long been valued in gardens for the beauty and fragrance of their winter-borne flowers and fine autumn colours, until now there has been no book to champion and extol their many virtues. Happily this omission has now been rectified by Chris Lane to the benefit of gardeners everywhere.--COVER.

Saving a few wild daffodils is one thing; saving two lives will be much harder, especially if they died seventy years ago. A gentle British comedy with a very unusual hero and a dramatic conclusion, based in the beautiful Teign Valley of Devon, England, by bestselling comedy author and script-writer Chris Lane. No bad language or violence.

In the late 1960s, a new sport emerged in Canada that would change the lives of many people: wheelchair sports. In Life in the Fast Lane, Chris Stoddart recounts the rise of wheelchair racing, with him as one of its pioneers. Born with spina bifida—a condition that affects the development of the spine—Stoddart witnessed the extraordinary transformation of the wheelchair from a heavy and unwieldy functional contraption to a light and sleek design meant for the racetrack. From his beginnings as a wheelchair basketball player to his evolution into a three-time Paralympian and fifty-mile marathon racer, Stoddart shares his life journey as it parallels Canada’s rise in wheelchair sports. With a matter-of-fact but approachable tone, Stoddart shines a light on the many veterans of wheelchair sports who may have been forgotten over the years. Most notably, however, is this athlete’s dedication to people who live with disabilities. During his successful career as an amateur athlete, Stoddart worked for the War Amps of Canada for almost thirty years. Learn about the history of wheelchair racing in Canada, where we stand today, and what we need to do to make sure people with disabilities share the spotlight with able-bodied athletes.

Born in the English Lake District in 1738, John Rigg, known as 'Moses' to his companions, is by 1762 a successful smuggler of graphite forcibly stolen from the royal wad mines near Keswick. John's childhood sweetheart Elicia Salkeld lives near Ambleside, but they part in distressing circumstances. He is captured and transported, leaving untold secrets behind... Eventually, John meets Arabella Tucker, a beautiful woman of mixed race and the mother of a mute son. She fills his life with love, only for it all to be taken away by cruel fate in the war with France. Will a return to England, where betrayal awaits, bring peace to his tortured soul...? Friends and lovers are woven into a story that celebrates the courage and resilience of the human spirit.

Full-length panto scripts from award-winning shows by bestselling comedy writer Chris Lane. Looking for a show or just wanting to read a script? These give full stage directions to help the reader and can be hired direct from the author at www.pantoscripts.me.uk with costs from only £20. Full rewrites and adaptations to fit your resources or your audiences at no extra cost (versions for schools, offices, charities, hotels, etc)Scripts are for: Cinderella, Robin Hood, Sleeping Beauty, Hansel & Gretel, Red Riding Hood, Three Men in a Tub, Dick Whittington, Jack and the Beanstalk, and Snow White.

Experience the zombie apocalypse with this illustrated survivor’s journal full of chilling tales of terror. The year is 2012, and what starts as a pervasive and inexplicable illness ends up as a zombie infestation that devastates the world’s population. Taking the form of a biologist’s illustrated journal found in the aftermath of the attack, this pulse-pounding, suspenseful tale of zombie apocalypse follows the narrator as he flees from city to countryside and heads north to Canada, where he hopes the undead will be slowed by the colder climate. Encountering scattered humans and scores of the infected along the way, he fills his notebook with graphic drawings of the zombies and careful observations of their behavior, along with terrifying tales of survival that will keep readers on the edge of their seats right up to the very end. Praise for Zombies “Influenced by Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend, Zombies is a genuinely chilling and logical look at a zombie invasion. The matter-of-fact descriptions of the symptoms and effects, coupled with the detailed drawings of both victims and scenarios make it a creepy read . . . . A tremendous addition to any zombie book collection.” —Sfcrowsnest