Minimal Criminals

"It was Friday night and everyone was either gone or dead... " Benedict Spender, ex-quarterback turned snarky-cop, gets his day punted into the odd-zone when Hollywood's most eligible bachelor ransacks a major casino, loots an armored car, abducts a teenage girl and then blackmails a corrupt executive, all while a lightning storm plays Whack-a-Mole on meandering pedestrians. But it kicks the can out of uncanny when this derring-do fashion-bachelor pins the entire caper on some avant-garde Robin Hood with firefly eyes and hair like a chocolate waterfall. "I was on a Hell-Ride with Lucifer's Liberal!" Shady ladies in shredded clothes, a snowball dog that pooches the scene, a bald headed avenger, a frog monster and the vanilla-gorilla all have way more to say than the chief of police!